What is two short years, when in return i get to spend eternity with you

Wow, where to start....

In the last 13 months SO MANY NEW THINGS HAVE HAPPENED.. so where to begin...

I will start with the goodbye, Cade and I shared a perfect last 3 months together before he left to serve his mission in Orlando Florida, it was the romance you see in the movies, moments that we shared i will never forget. Laughs, cries, snotty noses, and a love to last forever.

It was the moment we anticipated, but you could never be prepared enough for it... I don't know which was worse the anticipation or the actual good bye. We spent a perfect  2 day together before he was set apart and we would have the dreadful "hand shake"... we went for a ride on Cades motorcycle, got his missionary hair cut, went to dinner with his family, back tickle for back tickle, talked about the future, the past and the present... We watched all of cades favorite movies and just enjoyed each others company in silent stares.

It felt as though he was dying... when in reality he was just moving a few states over, switching times zones, swapping out text messages and phone calls, for the occasional email to say "i love you" and the weekly letters, the ever so cherished Christmas/mothers day phone calls and a "see you in a couple"

The day came where we knew we would have to part ways for a while.. Watching the clock intensely.. 8 hours left hurry and hug me, 7 hours... give me a few kisses quick! 6.... hold my hand and never let it go.... 5 cram in the last minute star wars trilogy and hold me close... 4... don't look at each other you might lose all composure you have fought so hard for all day... 3 i lay my head on your chest to try to memorize that still soft sound of your beating heart...2.... stare at each others faces and memorize every last detail...1.... "the last supper"... 30 more minutes, its crunch time, hug me, hold my hand and never stop giving me those soft kisses... and the moment we've been dreading the drive to the church holding hands squeezing them so tightly together...

He is now a missionary, the moment that made this all so real... his whole countenance had a completely different light to it.. The moment my boy began to transition into a man.. made his way around the circle and he got to my mom and whispered in her ear as he hugged her, my mom choked out a laugh and turns to hug me and says in my ear "this is from cade" oh how i just wanted to squeeze him so tightly... but i couldn't.. his family invited me back to his house to play games and eat ice cream, where cade was to avoid me like the plague.. never making eye contact.. sitting across the room from me, and the moment our hands accidentally touched reaching for the same object was as though we were in first grade again and your crush has a serious case of the cooties... he literally jumped back and wouldn't get close to me again.. Well the moment came where they had to take me home, i was gathering my things from his room with him, his brother and his sister, when the two randomly walked out leaving me and cade in there alone he looked at me with shear panic and fear in his eyes as though i was there to kill him, pointed to the stairs and said please get out of my room... At first i was so hurt.... then was overwhelmed by what great obedience he was already showing..

Then it was the dreaded drive home with cade in the front seat and me in the back with his siblings.. we laughed and fought back tears the whole way.... Then the moment we all were dreading... he got out of the car, walked me to the garage and stared at me for a second, as the garage open, he took my hand and we went through our secret handhsake we had rehearsed all that day... and he threw my hand down mumbled a quick i love you and see you in a couple, then practically ran to the car... i stood and watched them drive away... ran inside upstairs and to my mommy like i was 5 again and just sobbed... this is it, he is really going....

We texted all night and all morning until he left to the MTC i felt like we had said enough goodbyes and my little heart couldn't take anymore... when i got my last text message... "okay, it's time to go... I don't know how to say goodbye to you... so i wont hah. I love you so much. You're my light, my angel, my love, my everything. You're gorgeous inside and out and i am so thankful for you and everything you've done for me. I'll talk to you soon" and the flood gates opened, i couldn't type my last i love you fast enough. i was sobbing and shaking, it was worse than i could have imagined...

 Now here i sit 13 months later... the marker i thought would never come has already passed and I only have a short 11 months to cram in as much growth as possible before I have the most extraordinary "welcome home hug" The moment every missionary girl never thinks will come is already sneaking up on me and will be here before i know it.. So it's crunch time, read those scriptures, attend the temple, make sure to always pay tithing... because soon enough my moment will come that i will be married to the man of my dreams for time and all eternity :)